Man, I used to use my bike to get around everywhere. She was blue. Shiny, sleek. A real lady. She cost me $125 US and was worth every Lincoln-headed penny. She wasn't only a looker, she was a real tough girl. We rode around the Plateau and up to Mile End every afternoon that I didn't have class. A good 2-hour ride, sometimes more! I took good care of that bike. Bought a 40$ bike lock, with a chain to go through the wheels and everything.
And then, one day, I strolled over to the fence by the dance studio where I always used to lock her up and she was gone! Just, gone. I swear everyone in the neighbourhood heard my heart drop to the pavement in that moment.
And you know what tears me up every time I think about this? I just have no idea who took my bike. No idea. I should be so lucky as Chris H., infamous victim of the Arcade Fire's basketball-thieving treachery.
Seriously, Arcade Fire. Win goes around to cities in the US just stealing basketballs from dudes at gyms now? I, living in the same city you guys call home, get my bike stolen by some random asshole? This is not acceptable. I am going out and getting a new bike right now, and next time you guys come back home, you'd better steal it. Don't make me start another rant on the interblogs...
2 comments:
HAHAHAHA! Brilliant.
Arcade Fire stole my puppy, you know.
Oh Miss Kris, you have no idea how satisfying it is to have something of yours stolen by The Arcade Fire. This one time the entire band ran up on my friends and I in the park...
We were in the middle of this intense frisbee tournament when my bro Wally froze in mid-toss and began gesturing wildly toward our picnic area. All of us looked over and saw the whole band swarming our egg salads, and fruit salads, and garden salads; our peanut butter sandwiches, and jelly sandwiches, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; our fruit punch, and rum punch, and Hawaiian punch; they were taking it all!!
For a minute, we were totally ready to drop the frisbee and throw down, 'cause that's how we roll. But then my homeskillet Jimbo pointed out who they actually were.
All our jaws dropped, dumbfounded to see The Arcade Fire wrapping up our picnic lunches in our picnic blankets and taking off in the other direction.
Richard must have spotted us gawking at them as they fled because he poked Win, motioning toward our group, and they both began laughing heartily as they continued to run. Then, Win quickly handed his share of their take over to Richard and turned around.
Our mouths gaped wider as Win sprinted back toward us. When he got to where we were standing, he just took our frisbee right out of my buddies' hand before turning around to run and catch up with the rest of his group. Wally tried to quickly tell Win about his drumstick collection, but he just said that he didn't care about it and took off, chuckling to himself. When he caught up with the rest of the band, they erupted in a roar of laughter at the sight of our frisbee in Win's hands.
Naturally my friends and I were pretty surprised, but we all agreed that we felt strangely honored by the robbery. The men of the park's maintenance crew were also clearly astonished, as one of them walked up to us afterward with a look of half-shock/half-amusement and said, "holy shit you guys! the lead singer of Arcade Fire stole your frisbee."
I can only hope you get to experience the same feelings someday Miss Kris.
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